Theale Pantomime 2010   Dick Whittington

‘It’ll be alright on the night’ really should be the motto for Theale Players!

This very clichéd and dubious reassurance is almost as inevitable as the state I get into every production. The first time we had all the cast together was on the first night and as usual everyone gave a brilliant performance both front and back stage. Oh yes… and the audience had a great time! Even though this year we gave ourselves a little longer to prepare I can never understand how we manage with a cast of thousands to get a show together in such a short space of time. The panto was postponed from last year and of course, we missed so very much Elliot’s planned  contribution which was to lead the young rats in a display of martial arts. But the boys did him proud with a Michael Jackson extravaganza. And Heywood I’m sure would have been proud to have heard a Rossiter voice leading technological advance with a fourteenth century Sat Nat system.

Let’s single out the children for praise for they were the best. The girls,  Mae Ellis, Ellie Collins, Charlotte Bennett, Lauren & Stion Billington-Drew, Poppy Landers played several roles  being cheekily cheeky… saucily saucy sailors …  and hippies and Londoners…… The boys, Sam & Toby Woodroffe, Bill Landers, Joe Clark, George Bennett scurried through the panto as trainee rats and being thoroughly unpleasant and great fun. And the present and future stars to come were the various hens that Dick Whittington had to look after in Theale…. Gina Cumberlidge, Tobias & Sebastian Malby,  Daisy Becker-Hughes……   Theale certainly has got talent!

Have a look at the photo gallery - click here

And then there are the ‘big children’ ….( I suppose you could say that was everyone else!)….  but Jack Landers certainly has grown this year and gave a definitive Jack the lad….. Freya Cumberlidge  did brilliantly keeping all the adults going and fighting off two sharks at same time …. Talking of which her brother Angus was great at shape-changing from Duck to Shark to Gorilla. I’m glad he didn’t get the roles muddled up! And dare I mention Peter Stott … what a trouper!…what a costume! ..what a tail!

And Liam, the music maestro, used two key boards this year. I swear he was using his toes as well as his fingers. He kept the music and singing going with a swing.

As to everyone else?.... the best money can get!…………. You’ll have to see the video to believe it.

The set, costumes and props were particularly splendid this year. I hope everyone realises quite how much work was going on behind the scenes… before and during the performance. I would like to draw your attention particularly to the rubber fish in the desert island scene bought especially for the occasion off ebay making its’ first public appearance… a promising  performance I think. It was really good to get some new members joining in this year and even better when they came up afterwards to say how much they had enjoyed themselves.

However, I did receive one complaint by email which I pass on. Read it and see what you think.  Maybe we went a little too far in our generosity in forgiving the King Rat… particularly his acting?

Read on

Bernard Coulter


Email from
From her majesties Royalle Rat  Mouse Catcher

Dear Sire or Madame,
I have had recente cause to deale with an infestatun of small rodents  in her majesties  internetee tavern. I know not the purpose of this place  … but have no doubt it must be a place of  ill repute!…..  beinge occupied by a breed of salloyw youth  cawling themselves squeaks or geeks…named I believe after the  most peculiar breed of long-tailled mices which they insist on pressing and sliding in front of demonic windows of light!!!!
However through this device it pleaseth me very much to be able to send to the village of Theale in Summersetshire    this letter  emaille of complaint!

To whome it maye concerne ……….
I understande  there has recently been muche mirthe and merryiment  in the village of Theale  due to an ungodly enetertainmint based, I am told, on the lyfe of  Lorde Mayor Richard Whittington. I hear of cross-dressed young farmers, disreputable prancing senyor sitizens and at least fore current or ex-churche wardens all making disgraceful displays of themselves as well as a certaine local worthy dressed scandalossly  as a lusty Greek God wearing nothing but a peece of clothe and his own shame!  I am also informed that the village’s very own younge people were actually encouraged to join in this iniquitous activity !!!!
I have recently, and with much disgrayce, been demoted from the ranke of  Her Majestie’s Rat Catcher  to that her Majestie’s Mouse Catcher!  This followed the reformation of the entire rat population of Central London.
No doubte you be well pleased that through your Thespian efforts  you were able to reform that dastardly King Rat from evil to  good… but did you thinke on the consequences of yor action ….????   No!!!
All over the City rats, in their hondreds of thousands and at the encouragement of King Rat himself are emerging from the sewers and…….. doing goode deeds!!!!!
You can see them in their pinnys and overalls cleaning the streets and tidying up the dustbins, running uppe and downe drainpipes and clearing the gutters, washing the windows and licking babies faces clean, fetching the groceries and helping olde ladies to cross the road, running advice centres and waiting on tables… strings of them paw  to tail at the Buckingham paliss holding up the Queen’s washing, or balanced on each other’s back directing the traffic around Hyde park …….. tis terrible.. you can’t move for rats trying to help you ……… and they’ve started to washe everyday including behind their ears and taking a bath on Sunday  and saying please and thank you ….. and being nice to cats….. oh the  poor cats.. they are all terrible confused.
And the worste culpritte … King Rat …   I cannott abide the grin of his face!  He has had his tail permed and his nails raticured  He is in all the papers, broadsides and magazines, on the lippes of all the town cryiers. He has even being seen coming out of  xxxxxx  with Fairybowbelles!
Where will this all ende? I am much afeared this will spread throughout out the lande..   I have complained to the Queen herself…. But she is muche pleased  with the rattes!    And all because of your village enetertainmint!  …I can only ask you to send for Charlie the cat to return here to London and putte payed to these ratte goings on and make up for the mishcheefe you have caused.  I shall otherwyse hath cause to send for my cousin in Hamlin!                   Your humble servante  Ronald.T. ‘O’kyll